Chapter 11: Devil Take the Hindmost

So, let's talk about John the Baptist again, shall we? It's been, oh, pages since we last did.

When I started on this read-through of the so-called Gospel of Luke, I was not expecting this sort of thing. I knew that, at best, Jesus was a composite figure who might be partly based on a real person but was probably mostly myth, fiction, and post-facto rationalisations of OT predictions that had to be made to come true. I didn't expect to find so much blatant admission that Jesus's story was based on another specific person.

This chapter opens with C trying to explain why Jesus's followers use a prayer similar to that which other Christians - non-Jesus following Christians - apparently already associated with John the Baptist.

Chapter 11

And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. 

And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.
Give us day by day our daily bread.

And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

This sort of thing is almost enough to make me give up on the whole account. What is there about Jesus that actually marks him out as distinct from John? Even being resurrected isn't unique to one or other of them, at least in the view of some of C's contemporaries. They have the same background, the same outlook, the same sort of "party structure" and teaching methods, even the same extended family. Yet we're told in all the Gospels that the stories about John pre-date those about Jesus. Why should we even bother continuing to read about this Jesus bloke; when clearly the person we should be investigating is John and whether he existed or not? Oh well. Onwards we plod.

And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;

For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?
And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. 

I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. 

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Sounds nice. There is an underlying question, though, of what actually counts as seeking something. We've been told by C's Jesus that one can get to the Kingdom of Heaven by virtue of faith, or love, and now by simply knocking on the door (which implies faith, certainly, but also something more). As a specific example, what is Jesus saying happens to children who die young? They can't be admitted automatically, as that would have to apply equally to, say, Jews who have never heard of Jesus - which is most of them at this point. So do they have to "seek" something beyond having faith in the god that their parents told them about? It's a question that Christians never really managed to answer and instead resort to classifying it as invalid in various ways.

The issue of asking continues into the next part:

If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?

I think the answer there, Jesus, is going to be "no". Not unless the father has Alzheimer's or something. 

Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?

I'm not sure I'd trust anyone that even managed to think of that.

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

The word translated as "evil" here is πονηροι - poneros. This is actually quite a difficult word to translate and a slightly better attempt, I think, would be "If ye then, being mired in evil, know..." with a hint of "tainted" about it too. The evil here is something imposed on the listener as an inescapable part of living in a world which is ruled, as previously mentioned, by Satan and all his little devil helpers. So it's a little more generous to the listener than it seems at first reading, as well as being another part of C's whole picture of a mundane world which is ripe for being cleaned out in some sort of apocalyptic act. Because everything in it is touched by this evil. For example:

And he was casting out a devil, and it was dumb. And it came to pass, when the devil was gone out, the dumb spake; and the people wondered.

But some of them said, He casteth out devils through Beelzebub the chief of the devils.
And others, tempting him, sought of him a sign from heaven.

But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth. 

If Satan also be divided against himself, how shall his kingdom stand? because ye say that I cast out devils through Beelzebub. 

And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your sons cast them out? therefore shall they be your judges.

Again, C can not avoid the issue that he's not really claiming anything new for this Jesus character. Other people are casting devils out too and he doesn't say that they're doing anything wrong. So casting out devils is not in itself a sign of being the messiah, apparently. In fact, as we know today only too well, it's big business and must have been even moreso in the days before TV and The Amazing Randi to expose the fraudsters who practise this sort of deception.

But if I with the finger of God cast out devils, no doubt the kingdom of God is come upon you. 

When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace: 

But when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armour wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils.

He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.

When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he saith, I will return unto my house whence I came out.

And when he cometh, he findeth it swept and garnished.

Then goeth he, and taketh to him seven other spirits more wicked than himself; and they enter in, and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.

I've struggled with this bit of text. It seems to be saying that casting devils out is pointless as all you're doing is making a clean home for them to come back to with their mates. Of course, the only reason I'm struggling with it is because I'm trying to make it fit with everything else. But, really, the language is quite clear - the palace or house is a possessed person. The strong man is a devil who is thrown out by the faith-healer but after wandering around a while, the devil returns with a gang of others and re-inhabits the nicely cleaned house.

Chucked into the middle of it is the line "He that is not with me is against me" which has caused a lot of trouble, and can go on the pile along with "he that is not against is is for us" back in chapter 9 as just one more contradiction.

Anyway, the interpretations I've read that try to fit this passage into some coherent frame are unconvincing and my view is that it's actually another statement about the approaching end of the world; if it doesn't come soon all Jesus's work will be undone. And, looking at Syria today you could argue that he had a point.

And it came to pass, as he spake these things, a certain woman of the company lifted up her voice, and said unto him, Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked.

But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it.

Jesus just can't stand anyone saying anything nice about Mary, can he?

And when the people were gathered thick together, he began to say, This is an evil generation: they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the sign of Jonas the prophet.

For as Jonas was a sign unto the Ninevites, so shall also the Son of man be to this generation.

The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with the men of this generation, and condemn them: for she came from the utmost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon is here.

Queen of the South are currently trailing Rangers on goal difference. Just sayin'. 

The men of Nineve shall rise up in the judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: for they repented at the preaching of Jonas; and, behold, a greater than Jonas is here.

None of these last few verses sound like anything anyone other than an egomaniac would say, do they? They sound a lot like something someone talking about someone else would say. Someone who's a bit careless in drawing parallels with Jonas who, after all, didn't bring the world to an end.

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.

Bit more ego.

The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.

Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness. 

This is drivel.

If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light.

And as he spake, a certain Pharisee besought him to dine with him: and he went in, and sat down to meat.

Yes, because the Pharisees liked nothing more than to dine with people who constantly criticised them.

And when the Pharisee saw it, he marvelled that he had not first washed before dinner.

And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Pharisees make clean the outside of the cup and the platter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.

"I just thought maybe you'd want to wash your hands since we don't use cutlery."

Ye fools, did not he that made that which is without make that which is within also?

"Yes, but you've been out and about all day and your hands are bound to have some dirt on them. It's not sanitary."

But rather give alms of such things as ye have; and, behold, all things are clean unto you.

"I honestly don't think you can 'cast out' dirt, Jesus. I mean, just some water won't hurt, will it? We can drop some mint in it and then your hands will smell nice too."

But woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

"Look, all I said was, 'would you like to wash your hands first?'"

Woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye love the uppermost seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets.

"Okay. Shall we just tuck in, then? Eh? What do you say, Jesus? I'd love to debate this, honestly, but the wife's gone to a lot of trouble, really."

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are as graves which appear not, and the men that walk over them are not aware of them.

"Oh, bloody hell."

Then answered one of the lawyers, and said unto him, Master, thus saying thou reproachest us also.

"Shit! Don't say that!" *frantically kicks lawyer under the table*

And he said, Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers.

Woe unto you! for ye build the sepulchres of the prophets, and your fathers killed them.

Truly ye bear witness that ye allow the deeds of your fathers: for they indeed killed them, and ye build their sepulchres. 

Therefore also said the wisdom of God, I will send them prophets and apostles, and some of them they shall slay and persecute: 

That the blood of all the prophets, which was shed from the foundation of the world, may be required of this generation; 

From the blood of Abel unto the blood of Zacharias which perished between the altar and the temple: verily I say unto you, It shall be required of this generation.

"Okay, well, I see your point. More wine?"

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered.

"Oh, for fu..."

And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things:

Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.

The point of Jesus's ranting here is to set up the crucifixion later. The Pharisees are accused of having a habit of simply killing all Jehovah's prophets (which isn't true on several levels) and that that makes the Pharisees living today guilty (which is unfair and unjust) and implies that they will crucify Jesus too (which, in the end, they don't). Even within the context of the book itself, this is complete bollocks and nothing more than a thin attempt to rope in OT stories as "evidence" that Jesus was the Ultimate Prophet. The stories in question actually have no connection to this load of badly written hogwash.

Additionally, the whole setting here is anachronistic and unbelievable - the Pharisees would have been natural allies, not enemies, at that time, and who would sit through this sort of ranting from a dinner guest. Plus, the story ends with the note that this marked the start of the Pharisees's attempts to trap Jesus, which contradicts not only previous mentions of the same thing, but the underlying assumption of this very scene which is that Jesus already hates the Pharisees and, having already dined with them, they are bound to be aware of that.

Never invite Jesus around for tea. That's my tip.

Long hiatus here, but I will be back to finish this.